The silence that what not meant to be or how a setback can be seen as a gift from Life
Blogging has always been a pleasure of mine. I love to teach and share my knowledge and discoveries as I travel this journey called life. But a few years ago things changed and I had to stop. In fact if did not even feel like writing anymore. Deep healing needed to occur. It started with some issues right after having a new crown. Some terrible pain radiating down my shoulder and arms were present for a few weeks and since then, something that looks like a side effect: my mouth is crooked when I open my jaw. There was a lot of work done on my this specific tooth which lead to a lot of small trauma in the next few months. My body was telling me my beliefs and actions were not aligned. This tooth work should never has been done! Then things did not get better at all.
I had it rough in 2015: a concussion and a breast scare were amongst the events that took over a big part of my life, and to this blog date, I am still dealing with both issues at different levels. I realized only in February 2016 how much this concussion impacted me. I thought I was just going through something similar to a burnout, exhausted from the lifestyle I imposed on myself to make a sustainable income working my network marketing business and attempting to build part of the Canadian market. It was a total flop and drained a lot of our household income and my energy level. This blow in the head was the wake up call needed to make me stop and listen carefully to the truth I knew but would care for… well you know, later.
I learned this past winter that people can have aftermath effect after a head injury. I experienced spatial visual issues when parking and missing out on letter and syllables when typing right after. I still mix up a few words here and there when tired, knowing what I want to write in my head but ending up typing an homophone. Confusion, memory loss, bouts of anger, deep sadness, anxiety were also present a lot in the first 12-18 months after my incident. I looked at every aspect of my life and wanted to change everything. I wanted to quit on so many things.
The breast scare reminded me that there is more than to give in life. One needs to be wanting and demanding the receiving part too. So I stopped, observed and created a lot of new boundaries for myself and my family. I removed the hecticness and replaced it with grounding, time off, space in between chaos. I learned that saying no to others was alright because it meant saying yes to me.
Recently, the heat pattern in my breast noticed on both thermograms revealed itself differently when I had my first sonogram. As of July I know I have a 7mm lesion on my left breast. It is not necessarily cancer (risk are 1 out of 10) but it was hard to see exactly what it was so there is a big question mark on that tiny spot. At first, I was not too worried but determined to find more clarity. Then after some research I find it even harder to choose the route to take as not a lot of methods are totally accurate nor safe. The one that western medicine is trying to impose so quickly on me seemed invasive and maybe not even necessary.
Moreover, the person I met at the consultation appointment was more there to refute my beliefs and values and convincing me that a mammogram was the way to go. It would be so stupid and wrong to refuse this. We need to remember here that we are talking about early detection but this is not prevention. Of course this person sees no correlation with stress, lifestyle, nor emotions- she was as cold as ice; she is breast cancer survivor herself, believing only in the evidence based scientific studies; the one probably paid by big pharma companies.
Believe me, I have nothing negative to say about those who choose to use western medicine and I am not sure what I would do myself if there was a cancer diagnosis. BUT I strongly believe in live and let live. Whatever you do against your free will can harm you more than you can imagine because you are misaligned with your truth and thus vibrate so much lower than when you are in sync.
So since all this happened, I am not making a lot of promises anymore as I let my feelings guiding me more than my head now. I took no medication so far, dealt only with those affections using lifestyle changes, essentials oils, tons of self-care and a lot of emotional and spiritual work.
Out of these life changing experiences I was born again! I am now on a path of self discovery, self-love and so much more confidence emanates from all this. When one think about being lucky not to have been on a early death bed, one changes her perspective on life. I was not to be waiting on others to be happy anymore. I would be bold. And I am.
I sincerely hope this journey of mine will be transmitted in my writing and help you or someone you know dealing with hard circumstances or similar health concerns. There are ways to go through difficult moments, naturally, without medication-and read me well, I am not suggesting here that everyone stop their prescription or refuse them. However, understanding how much your lifestyle can be part of the solution is an understatement. From brain health to breast cancer prevention, I have learned that there is a lot that can be done about lifestyle and mindset. It is at the same time simple but not always easy but changing habits is feasible, desirable and so worth it in the long run!
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